Meanderings of the Mind

Breathing is all it takes to be a miracle. --from the movie Garden State

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Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee, United States

I was recently relocated to Chattanooga by the Postal Service due to the closing of the Remote Encoding Center I worked at in Bowling Green, KY. I had just started my first semester at WKU majoring in Nursing. Since I had recently built a house, my options were to get a lower paying job and lose my house or to move and rent my house out until I have my degree. I chose the latter. I've travelled throughout Europe with my friends and sisters which I consider the highlight of my life experiences to date. I come from a family of 6 kids--4 girls and 2 boys ranging in ages 18 to 34. Only my youngest brother is married at this point.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

OCD

Definition of OCD courtesy of medicinenet.com:

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), one of the anxiety disorders, is a potentially disabling condition that can persist throughout a person's life. The individual who suffers from OCD becomes trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts and behaviors that are senseless and distressing but extremely difficult to overcome. OCD affects more than 2 percent of the population, meaning that OCD is more common than such severe mental illnesses as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or panic disorder.

Obsessions--these are unwanted ideas or impulses that repeatedly well up in the mind of the person with OCD. Persistent fears that harm may come to self or a loved one, an unreasonable concern with becoming contaminated, or an excessive need to do things correctly or perfectly, are common.

Compulsions--in response to their obsessions, most people with OCD resort to repetitive behaviors called compulsions. The most common of these are washing and checking. Other compulsive behaviors include counting (often while performing another compulsive action such as hand washing), repeating, hoarding, and endlessly rearranging objects in an effort to keep them in precise alignment with each other. Mental problems, such as mentally repeating phrases, list making or checking are also common. These behaviors generally are intended to ward off harm to the person with OCD or others. Some people with OCD have regimented rituals while others have rituals that change. Performing rituals may give the person with OCD some relief from anxiety, but it is only temporary.

Before I read this definition I had decided that anybody watching my door when I go to leave would decide that I have OCD. Of course, they would be wrong because it's just plain old forgetfulness that makes me leave and re-enter my apartment 2 to 3 times. I forget my water, my cell phone, my fork to eat my lunch--you name it, I'll forget it. Of course, it's mostly due to the fact that I wait until the very last minute to leave then grab my things and rush out the door while taking mental inventory. As soon as I get outside the door, or half-way down the steps, I'll remember something I've forgotten and have to go back and get it.

Then I read this sentence: "Mental problems, such as mentally repeating phrases, list making or checking are also common." Ok, maybe I do have a touch of OCD. I'm the supreme list maker. Phrases get caught in my head all the time. Even worse, I have to type these phrases out--my fingers literally move in typing them. At work I'll tell somebody to switch to flats, turn and walk back to my station, and commence typing "switch to flats" over and over in my head. It drives me insane. Of course, it is the phrase I say most often--it's my job. Then there's the thing with my keys. I'm so petrified of locking myself out of my car (I've done it twice) that I check and recheck that I have them in my pocket or purse before I close that locked door. There have been times I've known without a doubt that I put those keys in my purse and forced myself to close my locked door without checking. I literally cringe when I do it!

So is this normal?

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