Blue to the Bone
That is what I am. I'm having one of the rottenest weeks in quite a while. Here's my sob story....
Work: I'm not even going to go into the details on that....it's too depressing to talk about. Suffice it to say, if you make some positive improvements that other people told you weren't possible....you just get attacked....there's no other way to put it. Am I cynical...you better believe it! I came within a hair's width of quitting my supervising capacity tonight. But I promised myself that I would give it a week so I could take my emotions out of the picture and make a rational decision. Even after hours and hours, the emotion level is pretty high and I'm feeling quite irrational. Maybe I should give it two weeks. One of my keyers told me that they would all probably renege on the commitments they made to key flats if I quit. They aren't going to work for anybody but me. So, of course, I feel a guilt trip coming on. I am just so through with bureaucracy incompetence, and pettiness. At the moment I just want to be a little nobody with no responsibilities. Why can't somebody just pay me to go to school?
School: I have mid-terms every week in the month of October. This is good in that I don't have more than one a week. This is bad in that I have a constant stress level for the month of October. (I can't say that improves my outlook on life at the moment.) Our labs always seem to require more of us than the allotted time allows. This last one was especially bad. We are currently dissecting a mink which is quite fascinating though it raises quite an unpleasant stench. The problem is that we spend so much time quizzing on the previous week's assignment that we don't have enough time to do the current week's assignment. Last week we had to remove the fascia (thin tissue) from the muscles of the hind limb and then identify, cut, and reflect (lay back) some of the surface muscles to see the deeper muscles. Yesterday we had to do the same thing to the head, neck and forelimb. Not only do we have to learn all the muscles of the mink, we also have to learn the muscles of the models of the human. These of course aren't real. :) Did you ever think about the fact that when you eat meat, you are actually eating muscles and maybe some adipose tissue (fat) and blood vessels? I told one of my class mates that the next time I eat a drum stick, I'll have to say, "That sure was some good rectus femoris!" She's the one who told me she is always trying out her new language on her family and friends. She'll say to her mom, "Let me feel your scapula." And to her boyfriend, "Let me hold your phalanges." She gets quite creative in her memorizing.
Health: I've been having terrible migraines so I finally found a chiropracter. I really like this one--even better than the one back in Kentucky. She's much better at pinpointing exact vertebrae that need adjusting. The problem is that since I've moved to Tennessee, I can no longer get coverage for my treatments. Tennessee isn't considered a medically understaffed state like Kentucky is so they don't cover it. That means that my budget is taking quite a hit in the medical department. On the good side, after 2 weeks of treatments, I am free from migraines.
Car: This is the real kicker. I started noticing some strange behaviors. Smoke from under the hood, smells like burnt rubber, hesitations in running, etc. Then Wednesday night on my way home from work, my lights became quite dim, my windows had hardly any power....all the signs of an alternator going bad. This was just before midnight, so I prayed myself home. In the morning I headed for the shop before 7:00 knowing that my lab was at 8:50. I had not touched my mink since dissecting it the week before and I needed some serious study time. If I missed class, not only did I miss my quiz points, I'd also miss the assignment over which we would be quizzed the next week. It was a double whammy waiting to happen. Sure enough, I get to Firestone and they agreed with my suspicions. They would have to hook it up to a computer to read the computer. They would start with the most basic test that would determine if it was the alternator or not. This would cost $20. If it wasn't the alternator, they'd have to run the complete test which would cost $99. If it was the alternator, I was looking at $475-ish. Of course, this was going to take longer than the time I needed to get to class. So I called my friend Tamy and begged a ride to school and my friend Teri who was just getting off of work said she'd stay up and come pick me up after class and take me back to Firestone. As it turns out, not only was my alternator shot, it had also burned up a belt in the meantime and another belt close by was very frayed. (My history with belts is not good.) So Teri and I went to lunch while they spent another two hours replacing those things. I was also informed that my rear brakes are 90% worn and I badly need new bushings on one side of the front end. Oh joy! I refused to let them do it right now. The $613.39 this was costing is enough of a blow to take my breath away. They weren't very approving of my choice to let the brakes go. He said I shouldn't push it for more than a month. The bushings aren't majorly important nor are the hoses that need replacing, but brakes aren't something to mess around with. "Ok", I says, thinking maybe I can push it to two months. On the good side, I get tomorrow off for the holiday. This will be spent frantically studying the chapters I have yet to read for my anatomy mid-term on Monday morning. The same goes for Sunday.
So now that I've unloaded my blues, maybe I can stop feeling sorry for myself.
Work: I'm not even going to go into the details on that....it's too depressing to talk about. Suffice it to say, if you make some positive improvements that other people told you weren't possible....you just get attacked....there's no other way to put it. Am I cynical...you better believe it! I came within a hair's width of quitting my supervising capacity tonight. But I promised myself that I would give it a week so I could take my emotions out of the picture and make a rational decision. Even after hours and hours, the emotion level is pretty high and I'm feeling quite irrational. Maybe I should give it two weeks. One of my keyers told me that they would all probably renege on the commitments they made to key flats if I quit. They aren't going to work for anybody but me. So, of course, I feel a guilt trip coming on. I am just so through with bureaucracy incompetence, and pettiness. At the moment I just want to be a little nobody with no responsibilities. Why can't somebody just pay me to go to school?
School: I have mid-terms every week in the month of October. This is good in that I don't have more than one a week. This is bad in that I have a constant stress level for the month of October. (I can't say that improves my outlook on life at the moment.) Our labs always seem to require more of us than the allotted time allows. This last one was especially bad. We are currently dissecting a mink which is quite fascinating though it raises quite an unpleasant stench. The problem is that we spend so much time quizzing on the previous week's assignment that we don't have enough time to do the current week's assignment. Last week we had to remove the fascia (thin tissue) from the muscles of the hind limb and then identify, cut, and reflect (lay back) some of the surface muscles to see the deeper muscles. Yesterday we had to do the same thing to the head, neck and forelimb. Not only do we have to learn all the muscles of the mink, we also have to learn the muscles of the models of the human. These of course aren't real. :) Did you ever think about the fact that when you eat meat, you are actually eating muscles and maybe some adipose tissue (fat) and blood vessels? I told one of my class mates that the next time I eat a drum stick, I'll have to say, "That sure was some good rectus femoris!" She's the one who told me she is always trying out her new language on her family and friends. She'll say to her mom, "Let me feel your scapula." And to her boyfriend, "Let me hold your phalanges." She gets quite creative in her memorizing.
Health: I've been having terrible migraines so I finally found a chiropracter. I really like this one--even better than the one back in Kentucky. She's much better at pinpointing exact vertebrae that need adjusting. The problem is that since I've moved to Tennessee, I can no longer get coverage for my treatments. Tennessee isn't considered a medically understaffed state like Kentucky is so they don't cover it. That means that my budget is taking quite a hit in the medical department. On the good side, after 2 weeks of treatments, I am free from migraines.
Car: This is the real kicker. I started noticing some strange behaviors. Smoke from under the hood, smells like burnt rubber, hesitations in running, etc. Then Wednesday night on my way home from work, my lights became quite dim, my windows had hardly any power....all the signs of an alternator going bad. This was just before midnight, so I prayed myself home. In the morning I headed for the shop before 7:00 knowing that my lab was at 8:50. I had not touched my mink since dissecting it the week before and I needed some serious study time. If I missed class, not only did I miss my quiz points, I'd also miss the assignment over which we would be quizzed the next week. It was a double whammy waiting to happen. Sure enough, I get to Firestone and they agreed with my suspicions. They would have to hook it up to a computer to read the computer. They would start with the most basic test that would determine if it was the alternator or not. This would cost $20. If it wasn't the alternator, they'd have to run the complete test which would cost $99. If it was the alternator, I was looking at $475-ish. Of course, this was going to take longer than the time I needed to get to class. So I called my friend Tamy and begged a ride to school and my friend Teri who was just getting off of work said she'd stay up and come pick me up after class and take me back to Firestone. As it turns out, not only was my alternator shot, it had also burned up a belt in the meantime and another belt close by was very frayed. (My history with belts is not good.) So Teri and I went to lunch while they spent another two hours replacing those things. I was also informed that my rear brakes are 90% worn and I badly need new bushings on one side of the front end. Oh joy! I refused to let them do it right now. The $613.39 this was costing is enough of a blow to take my breath away. They weren't very approving of my choice to let the brakes go. He said I shouldn't push it for more than a month. The bushings aren't majorly important nor are the hoses that need replacing, but brakes aren't something to mess around with. "Ok", I says, thinking maybe I can push it to two months. On the good side, I get tomorrow off for the holiday. This will be spent frantically studying the chapters I have yet to read for my anatomy mid-term on Monday morning. The same goes for Sunday.
So now that I've unloaded my blues, maybe I can stop feeling sorry for myself.
posted by Sara | 2:01 AM
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