Meanderings of the Mind

Breathing is all it takes to be a miracle. --from the movie Garden State

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Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee, United States

I was recently relocated to Chattanooga by the Postal Service due to the closing of the Remote Encoding Center I worked at in Bowling Green, KY. I had just started my first semester at WKU majoring in Nursing. Since I had recently built a house, my options were to get a lower paying job and lose my house or to move and rent my house out until I have my degree. I chose the latter. I've travelled throughout Europe with my friends and sisters which I consider the highlight of my life experiences to date. I come from a family of 6 kids--4 girls and 2 boys ranging in ages 18 to 34. Only my youngest brother is married at this point.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Ants

Last summer I had a problem with these tiny ants crawling all over my walls and cupboards. Well, just yesterday when I left for work, I discovered this same species had invaded my car. Now what’s a girl to do when she waits until the last minute to leave for work and finds her car infested with ants? It wasn’t an option to call in late since this was Saturday, and there are no other supervisors to cover for me. So I pretended I was on one of those crazy reality TV shows which involve horrible creatures, and just got in. Fortunately, the ants were mostly contained to crawling over my cup holders and on my dashboard and along the door, not on the seat. But a few did stray onto my person and sacrificed their lives. Now let me tell you, those tiny little creatures can BITE! After the first bite, I kept feeling these phantom ants on my arms, my legs, my face, and my neck. Imagine yourself driving along and seeing a lady in the car next to you randomly smacking herself and you’ll get the picture. Since I couldn’t really deal with the situation in the dark after work, I had to once again face it this morning on the way to church. I think they’ve multiplied. So tomorrow morning when I head for class, I shall go armed with my ant spray.

Tomorrow morning is my last lecture in Pathophysiology then an exam on Tuesday and a final on Thursday brings it to a complete end. In the meantime, statistics is fairly simple since it’s just math, but the homework assignments are so numerous I can’t keep up. Hopefully after this next week, I’ll be able to handle it better. Since I’ve had my Sunday afternoon nap, I must once again tackle my studies.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Music and Classes

On the subject of music, recently I’ve actually had more of a chance to listen to music other than just in the car on the way to and from work/class. Last week I did my required keying time for 3 days after I came back from New York. I really enjoyed being able to just chill and listen to music while shucking the load of responsibility off my back for a change. I could be just a normal person. Of course, I don’t know how many times I had to explain to people that I wasn’t being punished, nor were they. I was just fulfilling my quarterly keying requirement. You’d think the world was going to grind to a stop to hear them whine. Honestly, sometimes I feel like a mom, and a lot of my kids are older than I am. But I digress…..my current CD I’m wearing out is Il Divo which is a quartet of previously undiscovered opera singers. Most of the songs are in Latin and I don’t understand a word of it, but their voices are swooning material. I also listened (over and over and over) to Charles Billingsley sing the song I want sung at my funeral. (How morbid is that!) I love this song because I just think it paints such a beautiful picture of ultimate bliss.

Golden Streets

I've just discovered life here is easy
The hard work is over when hearts stop their beating
My moment is done, I've run out of time
But I want you to know, I'm just fine
I am thankful for His grace
It's because of His love that I'm in this place

Now I'm walking golden streets
I'm splashing in the Crystal Sea
I've watched a lion kiss the lamb
And I've been held by His nail-scarred hand
I've seen the Father and His glorious throne
I can't believe I'm calling heaven home
Don't you worry, don't you weep for me
'Cause I'm walking, walking golden streets

Rubies and diamonds don't mean a thing
All of their beauty is under my feet
Sapphires and pearls scattered round
They don't compare to the beautiful sound
Of angels singing praise to my Lord
And I will be listening forevermore

Now I'm walking golden streets
I'm splashing in the Crystal Sea
I've watched a lion kiss the lamb
And I've been held by His nail-scarred hand
I've seen the Father and His glorious throne
I can't believe I'm calling heaven home
Don't you worry, don't you weep for me
'Cause I'm walking, walking golden streets

I'm more at peace now than I've ever been
I spend my days just praising Him
I've reaped the blessings of a faithful life
There's no way to describe
Jesus by my side....

Now I'm walking golden streets
I'm splashing in the Crystal Sea
I've watched a lion kiss the lamb
And I've been held by His nail-scarred hand
I've seen the Father and His glorious throne
I can't believe I'm calling heaven home
Don't you worry, don't you weep for me
'Cause I'm walking, walking golden streets

I've always tended to latch on to songs that will fit some future occasion like my funeral or my future wedding--the funeral I'm certain of, the wedding I'm not! When I'm feeling really blue, I'll listen to Michael W Smith or Clay Aiken sing Bridge Over Troubled Water which doesn't really help my frame of mind--it just makes me cry. But I love the words:

Bridge Over Troubled Water

When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

On the subject of classes, I had my second exam this morning after studying all day Sunday (after church) and all day Monday. I couldn’t sleep very well last night because of all the information swimming around in my head. It seems to go that way quite often for me, especially when I don’t feel prepared for a test. I missed one question and I could kick myself over it. It was multiple choice over the gland which stimulates the hormone ACTH (adrenocorticotrophic hormone). Since one of the choices was adrenal gland, I just jumped on it without thinking when, in fact, it acts on the adrenal gland but is released by the anterior pituitary gland. GRRR. Somehow I think I’m doomed to always miss one on a test no matter how hard I try. I start my second summer class this Thursday. I hope it’s not too difficult. It’s statistics and the professor has good reviews on www.ratemyprofessors.com so maybe I can breeze through it without too much stress. This class does overlap my current class by about 2 weeks which won’t be good over finals, but after that it shouldn’t be too bad.

I’ve discovered a new snack courtesy of www.oprah.com. The best part about it is that it’s low calorie if you are interested in that sort of thing. I fixed some sugar free jello and put in some of my canned peaches. Then in an 8 oz. glass, I layered some jello then some fat free whipped topping, then sprinkled on some walnuts, then started the layering all over again until the glass was full. Quite a refreshing snack with practically no calories!

Saturday was the first Saturday I’ve worked in quite a while with all the weekends I’ve been taking off. I was once again reminded why I abhor working on Saturdays. I had to put up with a bunch of rubbish once again and found myself constantly reminding myself that Christians need to have pure and charitable thoughts even toward those who are trying their best to become the enemies we are commanded love. I was not feeling much love at all no matter how I tried to scrape some from the depths of my soul. So how does one do this in the heat of the moment? With all the restraint that was within me, I just bit my tongue, kept my communication to the absolute minimum and prayed that this too shall pass (and quickly please, Lord!). Though the crisis has passed for another week, I keep pondering how one is to be capable of that level of sainthood. Am I so shallow that it just isn’t within me? I’ve tried praying for this person. Isn’t praying for someone supposed to change your attitude about them? It’s not working, folks! The sad thing is that I think I could really like this person under different circumstances. I know it’s not just a hang up I have toward this person because I’ve been told in no uncertain terms by other supervisors that they couldn’t put up with it. In fact, the last two Saturdays, 2 different ones have taken over my duties in my absence. Both of them lost their cool and had WORDS which (shame on me!) rather amused me.

I’m off to grab some much needed sleep….