Meanderings of the Mind

Breathing is all it takes to be a miracle. --from the movie Garden State

My Photo
Name:
Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee, United States

I was recently relocated to Chattanooga by the Postal Service due to the closing of the Remote Encoding Center I worked at in Bowling Green, KY. I had just started my first semester at WKU majoring in Nursing. Since I had recently built a house, my options were to get a lower paying job and lose my house or to move and rent my house out until I have my degree. I chose the latter. I've travelled throughout Europe with my friends and sisters which I consider the highlight of my life experiences to date. I come from a family of 6 kids--4 girls and 2 boys ranging in ages 18 to 34. Only my youngest brother is married at this point.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

New Title

I have now officially been graced with the title of Aunt Sara. I feel quite thilled about it too. Her name is Selena Hope Schmucker and she was born at 6:45 on July 28.

Amusing conversation of the day:
Co-worker: "Hey, did you know that guy that won the tour de France is a Mennonite?"
Me: "Yes, I had heard."
Co-worker: "It's the strangest thing. Before you came, I had never heard of a Mennonite. Now I've heard it on the Dr. Phil show and now this. I think their taking over the world."

Second amusing conversation of the day:
Co-worker: "Hey, did you know that guy that won the tour de France is a Mennonite?"
Me: "Yes, I had heard."
Co-worker: "Did you hear how they had the nerve to accuse him of doing drugs?"
Me: "No, I hadn't heard about that."
Co-worker: "Oh those French people don't know what their getting into this time. They just don't know who he really is. Why there's no way they can prove a Mennonite took drugs. I just can't wait to see them proved wrong."

Friday, July 28, 2006

Fall Semester

I've really been dreading fall semester. I just got out 2 weeks ago, and I'll be right back in school in 3 weeks. It's that suffocating feeling of never having enough time to study and wishing I could quit my job. However, today I had lunch with one of my classmates, and it got me a little bit excited again. We were discussing what it might be like this year. Although I'm sad that 7 of my classmates didn't make the grade last semester, I'm really looking forward to doing pediatrics and labor/delivery this semester.

Hopefully, I'll at least be able to get a clue if I want to specialize in those areas. I'm still thinking of going to Vanderbilt to do one of their 2-track graduate programs, or maybe I'll just stick to one. I'm positive I don't want to be an anesthetist. I think family practitioner would be the most versatile. And women's health and midwifery are still on the table. I don't think I want to do forensics or pathology; although both sound fascinating. I don't think flight nurse would be the thing for me, but trauma does have a certain exciting element to it. I have only had 1 day in the ER so far, and the most exciting case we had was an individual brought in by the police because of a dislocated elbow which occurred when resisting arrest. So I guess I'm still searching for clues on which direction to go. It would be just the coolest if God would give me an audible on this.

I still have my dream sitting on the back shelf, guiding my inclinations. I don't know if I've ever written about it on my blog before, and I don't feel like going back and looking through all those entries; so if you've read it before, just skip it. My dream is what guided me into choosing nursing in the first place. I wanted a career that would allow me to travel, particularly on mission trips. I've considered some kind of AIDS work in Africa, or maybe the mercy ship. I figured that a practitioner or midwife would be much more useful than just an RN. Strangely enough, I ran into an RN from another university who was doing that very thing on one of my rotations last semester. He went on the mission field as an RN, but decided to come back and become a family practitioner so he'd be able to do more good. It felt like a weird confirmation to my thinking in a sense.

While the mission thing appeals to me, I'm just mercenary enough to want to be able to fund my retirement. So I've come up with a scenario where I spend 2 years abroad then 2 years at home making money. Of course, I really have no idea how realistic I'm being as I haven't even looked into what's "out there."

I've also considered the travelling nurse programs available in the states. It would be an awesome way to figure out where I want to live. I just feel myself being pulled away from Kentucky one way or the other. Isn't that just contrary of me? Everybody else my age is putting down roots, and I'm dealing with itchy feet. So what if I'm not normal? I'm going to live my life to the fullest!

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Motley Crew and Other Oddities

I find myself with a rare dilemma....it's 4:00 a.m. and I can't seem to shut my mind off enough to sleep. Generally this only happens when I'm extremely stressed about an exam. I know I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I decided to just give up and blog for a while. Maybe that will relax my mind.

I have noticed this propensity I have for enjoying people that others would rather avoid because they are strange or misfits. Upon some self-analyzing, I think they tickle my fancy because I know what it's like not to fit into the mold of what is considered "ideal" or even "acceptable" in the Mennonite world, and I certainly am considered an oddity in my present world where most people haven't even heard of Mennonites. Not that these people don't accept me for who I am. In fact, I think they do a much better job than my home church does. But I digress...

I thought it would be fun to describe some of these people I find so fascinating. First there is M. Now she's a real case. She used to live in California and was a respiratory therapist. From what she describes, she was one of the top in the country and was highly respected in her field. Of all people who should know better, she smokes like a freight train and doesn't care about the consequences. She so perfectly typifies the poem "I'll Wear Purple If I Want To" which speaks to the premise of doing exactly what you want and not caring what people think because you've reached that age when it just doesn't matter to you what they think. She loves the weather and has spoken of trying to get a job at TV station's weather department. Her TV is always tuned to the Weather Channel or to some CNN-like breaking news story. Everybody thinks she's a cooky old lady, but I like her conspiracy theories, etc.

Now P. is this mountain lady who lives in her own realm too. She talks with the back-woodsy Southern drawl. She thinks the Amish (pronounced with a long a) are just the bomb. She loves their produce and their food. She is truly what you would call uncouth--the kind of person who will eat straight out of the bowl at a public buffet and gross everybody out. She thinks everything is her business which drives the other supervisors insane. They want her to just mind her own business and not theirs. The only thing about her (and several other people I encounter on a regular basis) that I really dislike is that she likes to get up close and personal. That in itself isn't the bad part; it's the fact that she is a chain smoker and there's nothing as revolting as having foul smoke breath breathed into your face. She'll come up and lean on my shoulder speaking directly into my face, "Miss Sara, how much mail we got?"

Of course there's K. who has earned the nickname "psycho chick." Even on her medication, she can be quite volatile. She's almost been fired twice for screaming at somebody who has upset her while on the workroom floor. She has absolutely no threshold of emotional restraint. I can't seem to keep myself from making her one of my projects. It's quite challenging to try to calm somebody down who is about to blow a gasket, knowing that if she does, she will lose her job. I can usually see it coming so I'm thinking, "Ok, Sara, divert....divert....divert...." I must say, my classes in Psychiatry have come in handy at my job. Go figure!

Then there is the gang I call "my guys." They are not the odd ones...they are the popular ones. Especially one of them. The girls just love him, and I've seen him get swamped with attention from them. Yet, he's one of the most good-hearted souls I've ever encountered. The problem is, he and his gang are just too full of vim and vigor to be cooped up all day. They love to cut up and talk, neither of which go over well with the supers. So I try to reign them in with threats and cajoling when I know the tolerance of the powers that be have reached their limits and give them slack when I think they won't get in trouble for it. I warn them of the error of their ways, and they keep my life interesting with their capers. Of course, they love to serenade me with the song "Sara."

Working with so many different people (once I counted 350+ which I could name first and last names), there are many more I could describe. But that would take a book. However, I must speak of the Motley Crew since I haven't written about them before.

The motley crew consists of 6 women--myself, and 5 co-workers. I call them the motley crew because we really are an eclectic group. Having such a limited social life with working 40 hours a week and generally taking 12-16 hours of classes, I accepted the invitation to join these ladies for lunch. We so thoroughly enjoyed it the first time that we now make it a practice every week. We don't all make it every week, but there are always at least 2 of us available. These ladies are so unlike me, I'm amazed they even want me around. But I get my fix of laughter for the week, so I keep going. The language isn't always exactly what I've been taught is acceptable, but I think they do make an effort to restrain themselves. However, any topic is game with them and it can get a bit risque.

The most consistent one is S. She loves it because she cares for her mother when she isn't working and loves to be able to get out. She's been married a few times and has decided that is enough for her. She's a country girl with a history.

The one who started it all was L. She's the one with "the Attitude" and the mouth to go with it. She talks like she comes from the hood. She has a black boyfriend whom she just had a monster fight with. When she's upset, can she ever talk smack. But behind all that attitude is a good-hearted woman who is very loyal to her friends. She would be the kind of girl who would fight for her friends--literally and especially verbally. She's not afraid to say anything. She's the comedy relief of the group too.

R. is a black girl with a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. She hates when people stare and doesn't mind telling them so. We really do look like an odd group, so you can hardly blame them for taking a second look. She's a hard worker and very dependable.

M. is a very religious sort and has recently become engaged. She's very jolly and loves a good laugh. She can be a bit gullible as I found out when she found herself the victim of a financial scam which ended up involving the FBI. She literally lost all her money and almost lost her house.

A. is a piece of work like I've never encountered before. She's a massive hunk of a woman...over 6 ft tall and built like a football player. She's got a booming voice to match which can be quite mortifying as she says the most outrageous things which cause heads to turn and gawk. You can't help but laugh hysterically while cringing inside with embarrassment. She recently got married to the father of her two children, but she informed me the last time I saw her that he walked out on her after a fight. Like L. she's fiercely loyal to her friends and would not hesitate to wade in with her fists flying to defend them--in fact, she's been known to do this before. Her life is one huge drama after another. As she says, "The only good egg in her family is her brother who is in prison in Pensacola, FL." Oh yes, she's a Morman.

So despite our differences in moral values, we enjoy each other's company and even have some serious conversations at times.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Sunday Ruminations

My plans to take a nice long walk along the river this evening have been all dashed to pieces. It seems God decided it was time to drench the earth. I do have the benefit of hearing the thunder crashing and seeing the lightening flash though. So I guess I'll just enjoy nature from the inside today.

It seems my plans to buy another car have also taken a twist. I had the a nice 2003 Hyundai Sonata all picked out and my price set in my head, but I just couldn't seem to make the call. Then I had a really weird and convoluted dream about it all that just washed me with a feeling of unease. Sometimes I wish I were able to join mainstream America and just sign up for enslavement to the debt monster in exchange for a nice 15 to 20 thousand dollar car. Inevitably, I begin to think of how much I'd actually be paying for that hunk of metal with all the extra interest and the value I'd immediately lose in depreciation and decide it's not worth that much. Additionally, I consider that I wouldn't have any extra cash in my savings to go to Europe in 2008. I might even have to take out dreaded student loans that would further enslave me now and in the future. Reluctantly, I come back to my senses and confirm that I shall forever be enslaved to frugality and shell out another $400 to fix my old beater while remaining faithful to my mantra to pay as I go. However, I shall be quite gleeful when I'm backpacking through Europe so there is an eventual payoff. And someday, when I have no more education costs....

I have 2 more days of class involving a quiz and an exam and then I'll be freeeeeee for about a month. I am NOT ready to go back to the stress of nursing classes this fall. I have so many things to do before then including my online HIPPA modules, sewing more uniform skirts, and maybe investing in another shirt to say nothing of all the other tasks not related to school. My dresses are quite literally coming apart at the seams because they are so old and have been washed so many times, and I keep shoving them to the back of the closet to be mended someday when I have time. I'm think about investing in a serger since I didn't buy a car. But then comes the dilemma...do I buy a good one for close to $1000, or do I buy one that will just get the job done. I'll probably end up somewhere in the middle if I do buy one at all. Decisions, decisions...

I guess I'll go watch my movie (Lawrence of Arabia) before it gets too late. It's supposed to be a really good one according to the AFI top 100 movies of all time. An interesting fact I learned in my studying this afternoon is that the script writer was on the Hollywood blacklist for being convicted for by Congress of being a Communist. So he didn't get credit for this movie until years after the Production Code forced upon Hollywood studios was abolished by the a Supreme Court decision that movies fall under the "freedom of speech" category. My class is giving me exposure to some movies I'd never have chosen to watch on my own and made me aware of some really good possibilities, especially in the foreign films genre.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Schindler's List

I think I'll become a movie reviewer. Now if only I could get the kind of money Roger Ebert does. But then again, I don't want to watch everything--just what I like. So the movie of the day is Schindler's List and here's my review:

If I had to describe this movie in one word, it would be “heart-wrenching.” Seeing visual images of something you know as historical fact is much more horrifying than just the knowledge. Realistically, I know there were much more horrific things that happened to the Jews than what was depicted in the film, but Spielberg shows sufficient injustice to drive the point home. I felt very angry at the treatment they received.
The transformation of Schindler from a partying, money-grubbing, self-centered man to a reluctantly compassionate protector of the Jews was brilliantly played by Liam Neeson. I was totally gleeful at the way he brain-washed Goeth into thinking of power in a totally different way even though he did shoot the boy trying to scrub his tub free of stains after all. Even Goeth was portrayed as having just a drop of humanity within his black heart in his feelings toward Helen Hirsch though he did a good job of denying himself of them. I think he truly thought that Jews were not real human beings and couldn’t understand his attraction to Helen. It does help me to comprehend the psyche of Germans involved in torturing the Jews, for dehumanizing makes it acceptable to the mind.
I cried at the end when Schindler was in such torment over not being able to save more Jews than he did. I can just imagine the agony he felt that he threw away lives at the cost of frivolous living. No movie could enforce that one person can make a significant difference any better than this one did. I just loved the ring the Jews gave him that said, “Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” And to think they made that from the fillings in their teeth! Now that is truly meaning what you say.
Spielberg was brilliant to begin the movie in color then snuff it out via the candles of the Jewish ritual signaling the viewer that a darker time has come. It emphasizes the stark horror of the events. Then to have the turning point of Schindler’s mind-set hinge on the little girl in the red coat when everything else was in black and white represented the surge of hope and warmth into a cold world to me. Returning to color at the end with the homage to Schindler’s grave signified a return to a warmer, kinder world.
It was a wonderful touch to have the real characters and the actors who played them walk together to place a stone at the grave of Schindler. I didn’t catch on that the actors were walking with their characters until I saw the children so I had to rewind it and play it again.
Though it was difficult to watch some of the horrific scenes, I’m glad I chose this movie because I’ve always wanted to watch it. It is a good reminder that the ignorance of racism is dreadfully harmful.

Auto Mechanics

I have this thing about trusting auto mechanics. I'm so afraid they'll take me for a ride which, unfortunately, isn't an unfounded fear. I'm just so unmechanically inclined that I'd believe anything they told me. I was so fortunate to find one that I was totally confident in back home. It was one of the most difficult things to leave behind (besides my family and my house). Not only did they look out for me and my vehicle, but the lady that ran the place also gave me big discounts because she liked me. They specialize in these drive-through fast oil changes. Instead of driving through, I always turn my car over to the oil changers and go hang out with Paula in the office. Once, they told me that I needed new tires which they don't sell, so she starts calling all the tire places in Bowling Green and tried to guilt trip them into giving me a student discount. She found me a really good deal too. Since I'm living in the big, bad city, I'm especially nervous about trusting mechanics, so I just call Paula up and ask her if what they are telling me sounds reasonable. She's such a sweetheart to look out for me like she does.

Today, I finally decided that the mechanic I've been using the last couple of times is indeed trustworthy. The place is very similar to "my" mechanic back home. I got that feeling the first time I was there, but just didn't want to get my hopes up. The owner's wife runs the office, calls about parts, etc. just like Paula does. And she knows mechanics too! She told me how she is teaching her daughter about cars so she doesn't get taken for a ride if she leaves home. This started us on a conversation about reliable mechanics and confirmed the feeling I had that they were honest people. In the course of our conversation, I found out that she is from my very own small home town of Franklin, KY. How coincidental is that! Or maybe it's just a God thing--just giving me a little friendly sign.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Pet Peeve of the Day

People who talk on their cell phones while "driving."

Movie of the day: Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. Now I know why Hitchcock is called the "master of suspense." If you've never seen it, I recommend it.